Dog parenting vs real parenting

Last week a friend of mine said:  “I’m a parent, I have a dog!  She’s my baby, and I’m her dad.  It’s a big responsibility!”

source: pet360inc.com

To all those dog “parents” out there, here’s what real parenting would look like if I could take care of my child like you take care of yours:

Feeding:

I put a bowl of cereal and a bowl of milk on the ground.  I only need to fill it when it was empty.

Bathing:

Once every couple months I drop her off at the “spa” and let them pamper her, clip her nails, put a bow in her hair and then pick her up on my way home from work.  The rest of the time, she’s on her own.  I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’ll brush her now and again so she doesn’t shed on my couch.

Baby spa

Getting dressed:

My son has 2 outfits that are the CUTEST things you’ve ever seen!!!  AND, I only put it on him when we go out in public.  The rest of the time, I NEVER think of putting clothes on my child. OH!  And he NEVER wears pants!!

Whining at night:

It’s 3am and my 1 year old is whining for some unknown reason.   It’s so annoying, so I get out of bed and go put him in the back yard.  I go back to bed.  If that doesn’t work I give him a chew toy.  I go back to bed.

Source: Funandfunction.com

Tantrums in public:

I have a clicker for this.  I’ve trained her so that if this even starts to get annoying, I press a button and she stops.

Tantrum

Potty training:

I show him the toilet and let him “do his business” while I go watch TV.  If he does it he can come back inside.  If my baby has an accident while inside, I rub his nose in it and I put him outside.  That’ll teach him!

source: easybeingmom.com

Going to work:

I put him outside.  For 9 hours.  Because CPS isn’t a real thing.

I’m sure you REALLY love your dog. But let’s call a spade a spade.  What you have is a “starter kit”.   It’s the equivalent of a plant owner saying they are a “Pet owner”.

NEXT WEEK:
Cat Parenting vs. owning a plant.  Is there a difference?

Did I miss something?  Comment below and let me know what comparisons I missed.  And please SHARE and tag a DOG owner.  THANKS!